メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。
今回はあなたの周りにもいるかもしれない、なぜか上から目線で“ナチュラルくれくれ”について、嘘のような本当にあった私の体験談をひとつ。
今は順調にクソガキ化している息子がまだ可愛かったその昔、公園友達ともいえるママさんがいました。仮に園子さんとします。園子さんは穏やかで優しく、ほんわかした雰囲気で癒し系とは彼女のためにあるような言葉だと思いながら。でもなぜか一緒にいると地味に疲れるのです。
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ある冬の日、野菜好きな息子のために白菜漬と白菜山盛り鍋を作るべく白菜を四玉買い込み、息子本人には歩いてもらいベビーカーに白菜を積んでホクホクと帰宅中、園子さんに会いました。
園子さん：あ！白菜たくさんだね！ わたし：安かったから買い込んだんだぁ。 園子さん：でもそんなにあったら困らない？ わたし：全然。冬は白菜料理増えるし、間違いなく消費できるよ。 園子さん：いや、正直に言っていいんだよ。困るでしょ？もらって“あげよう”か？ わたし：必要ならまだたくさんあったからスーパー行けば？ 園子さん：ううん、違うの。たくさんあり過ぎて困るだろうから私がもらって“あげよう”と思ったの。気にしなくていいからぁ。 わたし：使うから買ったんだけど・・・ 園子さん：無理しなくていいって！私は重くても全然構わないからもらって“あげるよ”。 わたし：そんな意味わからない気なんて遣ってないんだけど・・・。 園子さん：じゃぁ、こうしない？そのままウチに来て白菜２個置いていけばラクでしょ？ わたし：・・・。
滅多に顔に不愉快モードを浮かべないのですが、あまりに『もらってあげる』を連呼され、宇宙人を見るような目で見てしまった私。
その後、「やだ誤解しないでね、白菜欲しいわけじゃなくて、そんな量、重くて大変そうだし私がもらってあげてもいいよ、と思っただけで、ただの親切心だから」と言われ、ますます違う生き物に見えてきました・・・。
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思い返すと園子さんは『〜してあげる』が口ぐせでした。
『お茶淹れてあげようか？』『買い物一緒に行ってあげようか？』『食べてあげる』『電話してあげようか？『（子供に）靴履かせてあげるね』『手を洗いに連れていってあげるね』
白菜くれくれ、はともかく、全部『〜してあげる』なのです。わざわざ言うほどではなくても、なぜ地味に疲れるのか、微妙に嫌な気持ちになるのかわかりました。
私なら『お茶淹れるね』『買い物一緒に行く？』『電話するね』『靴履こうね』『手を洗いに行こうか』になります。
悪気はなく園子さんの口ぐせなのかもしれません。しかし、ことあるごとに『〜してあげる』の“あげる”部分を強調した話し方をしょっちゅうされたら、あなたはどう感じますか？
『〜して“あげる”』『〜して“やる”』が口ぐせになっている人は、ナチュラルに人を見下していると感じさせてしまうもの。気づきにくいからこそ、普段の無意識に出てしまう自分の口ぐせや話し方を、今一度見直してみてはいかがでしょうか。
こんにちは！
興味深いコラム
興味津々に拝見致しました。
職業柄 人の話を“傾聴”する…と言う事を多方面で毎日気を遣い仕事をしています。
認知症 及び、精神的なケアを必要とする方々のお世話をする仕事をしていいるのですが
心をなかなか開いてくれない方に対して
女優の如く 色んなキャラクターを演じ
その方の心を開こう、またはこじ開けようとした事もありました…
これはハルさんの言う“積極的傾聴”積極的なアプリーチですよね…
ここで触れていた“消極的な傾聴”
とても興味深く 何度も読み返しました。
一歩違ったアプローチが出きるのでは？
…と、とても参考になりました。
人としての人格を失いつつある方とのコミュニケーションは本当にセオリーがありません(^^;
模索する中で ハルさんのコラムはとても参考になり、且つ楽しいです♪
また、拝見しに参ります。
mayaさん
コメント、ありがとうございます。
メンタルケアも必要な認知症を患っている方々のお相手をするお仕事なのですね。
認知症の方のケアは、ハード、ソフト両面でとても大変だと思います。
認知症を患っていても同じ人間、傾聴姿勢を持ち、お仕事されているmayaさんを
尊敬します。
アサーションなどは入所されている方だけでなく、職場の職員同士でも活かせる
コミュニケーションスキルだと思いますから、ご参考にしてみてください。
普段からストレスフルでお過ごしのことと思います。
軽い笑える内容も書いていきたいと思いますので、是非クスッとしていただければ
幸いです。
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Anavar is often labeled because the safest steroid for newbies,
causing significant fats loss and noticeable lean muscle features.
Side effects are not often skilled by males or women on Anavar, hence how it’s
FDA permitted in medicine. The outcomes of the medicine will be enhanced when combined with a healthy diet.
Anavar is a extremely popular drug amongst
gym-goers, as a end result of it’s one of many safest anabolic steroids
and comes with minimal unwanted side effects. The drug
far surpasses conventional testosterone in the physique,
which makes it simpler to construct and hold onto muscle while
getting lean. Anavar is a DHT spinoff anabolic steroid, falling beneath the family of DHT derived anabolic steroids.
It additionally incorporates a modification on the 2nd carbon of the primary cycloalkane ring, whereby the 2nd carbon is eliminated and replaced with an Oxygen atom.
You might assume that a giant enhance in libido and
bedroom activity could be a fantastic thing to be
reporting. But overuse of anabolic steroids can cause a painful or extended
erection [10]. And that’s also undoubtedly not a great
factor to occur whenever you’re making an attempt to focus in your squats or standing
in a queue at Starbucks. The major idea behind the development of Anavar was to make it stronger than testosterone from an anabolic
perspective and less potent for androgenic effects. And it’s that effect that made it
such a preferred medical drug for over 30 years.
However, due to its potential for abuse, it is categorized as a controlled substance in some countries.
Though Anavar just isn’t technically a banned substance in Turkey,
it’s unlawful to own and sell with no prescription. Nonetheless, it’s not advisable to self-medicate with this drug as
it might lead to serious unwanted effects.
For example, Deca Durabolin is normally taken in gentle
bulking cycles to add a little extra size while
preserving harmful side effects at bay. Dianabol may be stacked with trenbolone; nonetheless, it often causes bloating and thus counteracts trenbolone’s
diuretic properties (similar to Anadrol).
Thus, our patients make the most of Nolvadex and Clomid after this stack to
resurrect testosterone levels (without the addition of hCG).
The results from this cycle shall be similar to these
of Winstrol and trenbolone. Nevertheless, Anavar is much less
highly effective than Winstrol; due to this fact, the positive
aspects shall be slightly much less (and
the unwanted effects more tolerable).
As a end result, Anavar should be removed out of your system
within 36 to 50 hours (4 to five half-lives). Anavar enters the bloodstream and goes all through the body after it’s
ingested. When it enters the muscles, it attaches to androgen receptors, that are specialized.
This binding prompts the receptors and starts a sequence of metabolic occasions within the muscle
cells. This subreddit is NOT for studying
how to boost testosterone naturally. Any questions related to this topic must be directed toward r/testosterone.Please learn the principles and FAQ section earlier than posting.
As described above, food regimen, stress administration, and a
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Oxandrolone is an “anabolic” steroid that
promotes the expansion of muscle tissue. In this occasion,
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Nonetheless, with Anavar’s fat-burning effects and muscle features being retained post-cycle, there is not a great
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Anavar’s diuretic effects, inflicting the muscular tissues to appear more and more easy and cut back muscle definition, striations, and vascularity.
We discover injectable trenbolone poses little threat to the liver in reasonable doses, with it
quickly entering the bloodstream instead of passing through the liver.
The duration of Anavar and EPI cycles can vary depending on individual objectives,
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but it is essential to monitor your physique’s response
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This should be sufficient of a cause to keep away from taking it as a professional athlete, but I really feel users ought to be far
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