メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。
シリーズ最後となる今回は怒りを感じた場面でどう考えて(行動して)いくのかを具体的にトレーニングしていきます。
私たちが普段行動している根幹には
【その人自身の信念、善悪の判断をしているもの=コアビリーフ】
があり、コアビリーフはその人の“価値観そのもの”と言えます。
このコアビリーフが「〜であるべき」を引き起こす(コア)ので、人それぞれにあるコアビリーフが怒りをコントロールする重要なカギになります。
困ったことに、このコアビリーフには一般常識や他者の理屈は通用しません。人の数だけ存在するのがコアビリーフなのです。
わかりやすいコアビリーフの例を挙げてみます。
<例> 「子供は親に言うことを聞くものだ」というコアビリーフを持っていると、「子供は親の言うことを聞かなくてはいけない」から「子供は親の言うことを聞く“べき”だ」が生まれやすくなります。
子供は親の所有物ではなく、親とは違う考えや感情、意思を持ち、親とは違う人生を送る血の繋がりはあるけれど“別人格の他者”という現実が薄くなってしまい、“頭で”わかっていても(わかっていない人もいますが)、思いどおりにならず言うことを聞かない子供に対し、「あなたのためを思って←(これすら押し付けで虐待ですが)」と怒りを感じやすくなります。
私も発達障害を持つ手強い中学2年男子の母親なのでイライラする気持ちは物凄くわかりますし、課題が多くオレ様論をぶちかます息子に怒りを覚えます。
ただ、アンガーマネジメントを知らなかった以前とアンガーマネジメントに取り組んでいる今は、コアビリーフを知り、怒りを客観視できるようになり、一層感情マネジメントができるようになりました。それは、気持ちの折り合いがつけやすくなったことや、いつまでもイライラしなくなったこと、なかなか話の通じない息子ですが、コミュニケーションを積極的に取る時間を作るようになったことで、相互理解に繋がったのではないかと感じます。
◇
アンガーマネジメントを身につけていく上で重要なのは、
- 最初の6秒。
- 自身がどのようなコアビリーフに持っているのかを知る。
- 私たちを怒らせるものの“正体”を知る(図2)。
- 課題の修正/行動の修正(図1)。
です。


- コアビリーフを知るためには、怒りを感じた時にアンガーログという記録を取っていきます(図3)。
- アンガーログを記録する時に、イライラ/怒りの点数を一緒に計りましょう(スケールテクニック)(図4)。

面倒なことだと思いますか?では、あなたはどのようになりたいのかを想像してみてください。
“怒りに任せて行動して失敗したくない”、“売り言葉に買い言葉で人間関係を悪くしたくない”、“自分の意見や考えに対し反対意見があっても、感情的にならず冷静に対処できるようになりたい”、“ぶちギレた後に自己嫌悪に陥ったり後悔したくない”、大体このような感じではないでしょうか。
怒りを感じた時の自分を、“紙に書く”ことで、感情を客観的に認識するのが目的なので、最初のうちは図3のようなアンガーログを付けていくことが必要です。
私は“パートナーを大切にしたい、無駄な強い怒りで心を荒ませたくない、感情的なやり取りで子供の心を傷つけたくない”が最初のモチベーションでした。すぐに記録できるように小さなメモ帳を持ち歩き、すぐに書くことがコツです。スマホ使用に問題がない場所なら、スマホ記録でも構いません。
わかりやすく図を書きましたが、必要な項目は
- 日時
- 出来事(怒りを感じた状況を簡単に)
- 思ったこと(その状況をどう思ったか)
- 感情(その時にどのような感情を持ったか)
- 感情の強さ
- 行動(自分がどんな行動を取ったのか)
- 結果(あなたの行動の結果、どのような結果になったか)
- 違う考え方(他の視点から考えることはできなかったのかを書く)
です。
「いちいち書き出すなんて面倒くさい」「そんなことしなくたって自分はアンガーマネジメントできる」「怒っても周りに迷惑なんかかけないし(無人島でもなければ誰かを不快にしているものなので、自分を客観視できていないただの勘違い)」「自分を怒らせるほうが悪い(オレ様何様殿様気質でスペシャル身勝手ですね)」などと思う人は、途中で放り出す可能性が高いので、アンガーマネジメントには不向きかもしれません。そういう人は、
ハッキリ言います、やるだけ無駄です。
誰でも簡単に身につけられるアンガーマネジメントですが、多少の面倒くささは伴います。何かを身につける、覚えて応用していくにはそれなりの【努力】をしてきたことを思い出してください。
何度もおはじきを数えて数を覚え、学校で漢字小テストのためにノートにひたすら漢字を書き、九九はお風呂でのぼせるほど繰り返し、語呂合わせで歴史年表を覚えてきませんでしたか?資格試験のために参考書に線を引き、ノートで問題を解きませんでしたか?仕事も覚えるまでは【多少の面倒くささと努力(あるいは忍耐)】を伴ったはずです。何かを身につけることは口で言うほど簡単なことではありません。
アンガーマネジメント自体は簡単です。ただ、身につけるまでには今まで気にも留めなかったことに目を向けたり、意識し考えていくステップがあるので面倒に感じます。企業で働いていれば、多かれ少なかれ部下なり後輩は必ずいると思います。彼らとの相互理解を短時間で深める、あるいは信頼関係を短時間で築いていく【スキル】である、と考えたらどうでしょう。アンガーマネジメントも仕事の一部となれば話は違ってくるのではないでしょうか。
他者を変えることは困難です。でも、自分自身の認識をほんの少し変えるだけで、あなたに対する周りの見方や評価、あなたへの接し方にも変化が表れます。
◇
<運営会社:Jiyuuku Inc.>
I was studying some of your posts on this website and I conceive this site is real instructive!
Retain putting up.Raise your business
I think this is a real great blog.Really thank you! Want more.
A round of applause for your blog post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.
I’m a big supporter of your work. I’ll be back to see more sometime soon. Thanks for making it.
Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really wellwritten article. I’ll make sure to bookmarkit and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post.I’ll definitely return.
I do not even know the way I ended up here, but Iassumed this submit was once good. I do not know who you’re but certainly you aregoing to a famous blogger when you aren’t already.Cheers!
It’s really a cool and useful piece of information. I am satisfied that you just shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much for the post.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.
Thanks so much for the blog.Much thanks again. Cool.
wow, awesome post.Thanks Again. Fantastic.
Looking forward to reading more. Great blog post.Thanks Again.
Very informative blog post.Thanks Again. Really Great.
I think this is a real great post.Thanks Again.
Thanks for a marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading it,you’re a great author. I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and willoften come back later in life. I want to encourage you to ultimatelycontinue your great work, have a nice day!
I am curious to find out what blog system you have been using?I’m experiencing some minor security issues with my latest blog and I would liketo find something more safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?
I want to to thank you for this excellent read!! I definitely loved every bit of it. I have you book marked to look at new stuff you postÖ
It’s actually a cool and helpful piece of info. I’m glad that you shared this useful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.
An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you should publish more on this subject matter, it may not be a taboo subject but generally people do not speak about such topics. To the next! Kind regards!!
What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It positively helpful and it has helped me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & aid different users like its aided me. Great job.
I think this is a real great post.Much thanks again. Really Great.
Appreciate you sharing, great post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.
Very good info. Lucky me I found your blog by chance (stumbleupon).I have saved it for later!
Say, you got a nice article. Really Cool.
Everyone loves what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and coverage!Keep up the good works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll.
When some one searches for his necessary thing, thus he/she desires to beavailable that in detail, so that thing is maintained over here.
Generally I don’t learn article on blogs, however I wish to saythat this write-up very pressured me to take a look at and do so!Your writing style has been amazed me. Thank you, very great article.My blog post; Actual Exam
A round of applause for your blog post.Much thanks again.
I really liked your blog article.Much thanks again.
Thank you ever so for you article post.Much thanks again. Much obliged.
Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact usedto be a enjoyment account it. Glance advanced to more delivered agreeable from you!However, how can we be in contact?
I do accept as true with all the concepts you’ve offered in your post.They are very convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are very short for starters.May you please extend them a bit from next time? Thank you for the post.
You could definitely see your enthusiasm in the paintings you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.
I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high quality articles or weblog posts in this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this site. Studying this information So i am satisfied to express that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I such a lot for sure will make certain to do not put out of your mind this web site and provides it a look regularly.
Thank you for another informative website. Where else could I get that type of info written in such a perfect way? I’ve a project that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such information.
Hello! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to look it over. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Excellent blog and excellent design and style.
Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.
I’m still learning from you, while I’m improving myself. I absolutely enjoy reading everything that is written on your blog.Keep the stories coming. I loved it!
Hello there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I really enjoy reading through your posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same subjects? Many thanks!
Hi there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble withhackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hardwork due to no data backup. Do you have any solutions to stop hackers?
how to use tinder , browse tinder for freetinder date
Very good blog post.Much thanks again. Awesome.
I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here frequently. I’m quite certain I’ll learn plenty of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
Appreciate you sharing, great blog article. Great.
Takipavm’de indirim var! Sende tıkla ve takipçi satın al.
Wow, great blog post.Thanks Again. Awesome.
I really liked your blog article.Really thank you! Great.
“iPhone 16e packs in the features our users love about the iPhone 16 lineup, including breakthrough battery life, fast performance powered by the latest-generation A18 chip, an innovative 2-in-1 camera system, and 계룡출장Apple Intelligence,” said Kaiann Drance, Apple’s vice president of Worldwide iPhone Product Marketing. “We’re so excited for iPhone 16e to complete the lineup as a powerful, more affordable option to bring the iPhone experience to even more people.”
seroquel seizures quetiapine recreational use
Very informative article post.Really thank you! Awesome.
I value the article.Much thanks again. Fantastic.
Thank you ever so for you blog article.Thanks Again. Want more.
I as well think thus, perfectly indited post!Also visit my blog; Gold Leaf CBD Gummies Reviews
Hi there, yes this piece of writing is in fact fastidious and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging. thanks.
I always was concerned in this subject and still am, regards forputting up.Feel free to surf to my blog … Premium Hemp CBD Oil
Thank you ever so for you article.Thanks Again.
Wow, great article.Thanks Again.
ivermectin cream uk ivermectin for humans – ivermectin stromectol
Wow, great blog.Thanks Again. Awesome.
Muchos Gracias for your article post.Really thank you! Much obliged.
I truly appreciate this post.Thanks Again. Really Cool.
Im thankful for the article post.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.
Great article.Much thanks again. Much obliged.
Thanks for some other excellent post. Where else may just anyone get that type of information in such a perfect wayof writing? I have a presentation subsequent week, and I amat the look for such information.Also visit my blog Takipçi SATIN AL
I loved your blog.Thanks Again. Great.
Fantastic blog post. Keep writing.
I value the post. Really Great.
472411 630854But a smiling visitant here to share the adore (:, btw great style and design . 355347
Brink\s break: cláusula de lamella franks para congelación de cinco días, veinte días después del robo
Greetings! This is my first visit to your blog! We are ateam of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche.Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a outstanding job!
Piece of writing writing is also a fun, if you be acquaintedwith after that you can write or else it is complex to write.
Yeah bookmaking this wasn’t a speculative determination outstanding post! .
Fantastic article.Much thanks again. Much obliged.
I’d should take a look at with you listed here. Which isn’t one thing I normally do! I get pleasure from reading a article which could make men and women Consider. Furthermore, thanks for making it possible for me to comment!
ivermectin 1 cream generic – ivermectin over the counter uk stromectol online pharmacy
Thank you ever so for you blog article.Thanks Again. Cool.
I am curious to find out what blog platform you are utilizing?I’m having some small security issues with my latest blog and I’d like to findsomething more risk-free. Do you have any solutions?
Thanks-a-mundo for the blog post.Much thanks again. Great.
Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I?m gonna watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
Your approach to explaining every little thing in the following paragraphs is in reality excellent, all be effective at easily comprehend it, Thanks a whole lot. otertbe.se/map17.php hur l?¤nge ska man ha i silverschampo
Fastidious replies in return of this issue with genuine arguments and explaining all concerning that.
Whoah this blog is wonderful i love reading your articles.Keep up the good work! You recognize, many persons are looking round for this information, you could help them greatly.Also visit my blog post: Damien
Enjoyed every bit of your post. Great.
Appreciate you sharing, great blog post.Thanks Again. Really Cool.
Thank you ever so for you blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on…
A big thank you for your post. Will read on…
Really enjoyed this blog article. Will read on…
If you ever wondered about your probabilities of winning a bet with odds 3 to 5, our odds calculator is right here to support you.
333821 646370great post. Neer knew this, regards for letting me know. 709551
Im grateful for the blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.
Excellent post however , I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this subject?I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bitfurther. Thanks!
Thanks again for the article post.Much thanks again. Much obliged.
He beats his breast who does not beat his child.
Say, you got a nice post.
Excellent blog you have here.. It’s hard to find good quality writing like yours nowadays. I honestly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
hello!,I really like your writing very so much! percentage we keep in touch moreapproximately your post on AOL? I require an expert on this space to solve my problem.May be that is you! Looking forward to peer you.
This blog post was really awesome Thank you for making it.
Major thankies for the blog article. Keep writing.
Wow, superb blog format! How long have you ever been blogging
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.Rap Instrumentals
wow, awesome article post. Awesome.
Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Finding the time and actual effort to create a very goodarticle… but what can I say… I put things offa whole lot and never manage to get anything done.
Fantastic post.Really thank you! Really Cool.
Awesome blog post.Much thanks again.
My brother suggested I might like this blog.He was totally right. This post actually mademy day. You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for thisinfo! Thanks!
their payment approaches. With the introduction of this kind of
Thanks again for the article post.Thanks Again. Great.
Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article.Thanks Again. Want more.
This is one awesome blog. Really Cool.
Well I definitely liked studying it. This article offered by you is very useful for proper planning.
What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discoveredIt positively helpful and it has aided me out loads.I’m hoping to give a contribution & assist different users like itsaided me. Great job.
Major thankies for the article post.Really thank you! Fantastic.
Looking for expert guidance on protecting assets while qualifying for Medicaid? As experienced elder law attorneys near me, our team at Ohio Medicaid Lawyers provides specialized legal assistance with Medicaid planning, estate planning, and asset protection strategies. We help seniors understand medicaid eligibility income charts and navigate the complex 5-year lookback period. Visit our website for comprehensive information about Ohio medicaid income limits 2024 and schedule a consultation with a trusted elder care attorney who can safeguard your future.
Enjoyed every bit of your article. Great.
This was super good content. Thanks for sharing it. You made a long-term reader and I’ll return to view more. Thanks for sharing.
A round of applause for your article post.Thanks Again.
what is the best health insurance in california how does ltc fit into the rest of the healthcare system – kamagra prfnnq Ltynqny.
My family members every time say that I am killing my time here at net, except I know Iam getting familiarity everyday by reading such fastidious articlesor reviews.
Hey, thanks for the blog post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.
of him as nobody else know such designated about my trouble.
I need to to thank you for this good read!! I absolutely loved every bit of it. I’ve got you bookmarked to check out new things you postÖ
Hi, I do think this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to revisit yet again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.
Looking around I like to browse around the internet, regularly I will just go to Digg and follow thru
Severe hunter questions show that the first window is used to use 46,800 yuan.
Very good blog post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Looking forward to reading more. Great blog.Thanks Again. Cool.
Say, you got a nice post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.
Great blog post. Want more.
I have been reading out some of your articles and i must say nice stuff. I will definitely bookmark your blog.Kevin Galstyan
A round of applause for your blog article.Thanks Again. Really Great.
Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; many of us have created some nice methods and we are looking to exchange strategies with other folks, please shoot me an email if interested.