ポツンママ（ぼっちママ）を知っていますか？

メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。

今回は入学式シーズンということで、少し軽い話題で。

タイトルのポツン（ぼっち）ママ、まさに私のことです。

ポツン（ぼっち）ママとは、ご想像のとおりママ友がいない、一人でいるママのこと、ですね。

普段は誰にでも友好的で人見知りもありませんが、私自身がママ友というものに関心がなく、繋がりがなくても必要情報は自ら積極的に動くので、不自由を感じたことが一度もありません。常に“一匹狼”（笑）の一人行動で授業参観や保護者会に出席しています。そして、我が子観察はもちろんですが、保護者や子供たちも観察しています。

当たり前ですが、おしゃべり目的で行くわけではないので話す人がいなくても平気ですし、「あのママ、ポツンママだ」と思われても、陰で「ママ友いなくてぼっち、かわいそう」と言われても、積極的ポツンの私はまったくのノーダメージです。

何とかママ友を作ろうと必死な保護者もいるようです。

観察していると、ボスママのような立場（？）の人がいて、場をとりまとめたり保護者会後のお茶会、誰の家に集まるか、ママランチなどを仕切っているようです。身振り手振りも声も大きなママさんや、お子さんが何人かいて学校をよく知るママさん、出たがりママさんが多いように見えます。

いつも一人でいるのが可哀想だと思われるのか何度かお誘いを受けたことがありますが、仕事でもないのに自ら“必要と感じない面倒そうな人間関係”をわざわざ作らなくてはいけないコミュニティに関わるのは苦手なので、笑顔で爽やかに辞退しています。

多分これも陰で何か言われていると思います。

疑問や意見があれば学校に聞いたり伝えればいいですし、学校では手に余るようなら教育相談や教育委員会もありますから。

ママさん同士が集まって家庭内不満をウダウダ（もっぱらご主人や生活の愚痴）、他者の家庭事情への立ち入り、トンチンカンなアドバイス、マウンティング合戦は性に合いませんし、それほど暇でもありません。

いや、いいんです。その“ママ友コミュニティ”が居心地よく楽しくて、無理のないストレスフリーなお付き合いができる人であれば。中にはサッカー団の保護者付き合いなどもあると思いますし。

ただ知っておいてほしいことがあります。

ママ友ワールド、ママカーストの中で誰かの顔色をうかがったり、同調圧力にモヤモヤしたり、『子供のため』と無理して付き合う苦痛と無駄時間を。

私はシングルマザーなので、ママカースト内ではなぜか最下層に位置するようです（笑）くだらないです・・・。

ママ友コミュニティに属していなくても子供の学校生活は問題なく送れますし、もしそれが原因でいじめがあったとしたら、それはそれで学校が対処すべき問題だと思います。もちろん、必要な委員や役員を逃げ回っているわけではなく、関わらないのは学外“ママ友（保護者）同士のお付き合い”だけです。

図太いのでそう思うのかもしれませんが【戦略的ポツン】、ものすごくラクです。空気を読めないのではなく、自分にとって不必要な空気は敢えて読まない・・・というスタンスです。

帰属意識が高く何かと群れたがる（安心するから）、良くも悪くも日本人気質の一部で、それをまざまざと感じるのがママ友ワールドです。

◇

＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞

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