メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。
リフレーミングとは・・・
物事を見る枠組み(フレーム)を変え、違う視点で捉えることで前向きに解釈できる状態になることです。
ネガティブに捉えがちな自分の短所(と思い込んでいる)を違う角度から眺めてみると、案外長所だったりするものです。
例えば、“人見知り”は“慎重である”と言い換えることができます。
探し出してリフレーミングで一般的にネガティブと思われがちないろいろな言葉をプラスに言い換える練習をしてみましょう。
●愛想がない →その人の肩書きや出会った状況に流されない。 ●心配性 →感受性が鋭く慎重、真面目で責任感が強い。 ●流されやすい →柔軟性があり、臨機応変で適応力が高い。 ●見栄張り →発想力がありエネルギッシュ、向上心がある。 ●目立ちたがり →社交的で行動力がある。 ●弱虫 →自制心が強く慎重、物静かで思慮深い。 ●腹が立つ →正義感が強く、自分に正直。 ●優柔不断 →多角的に物事を見ていて慎重。 ●気分屋 →自由で感情表現が豊か、切り替え上手。
など。
短所だと思ってコンプレックスがあったり、ネガティブな感情を持つ自分が嫌になった時こそリフレーミング。←ここがミソです。開き直ってリフレーミングすると、間違った方向へいきます。例えば『腹が立つ』の場合、開き直って<気に入らないならしょっちゅう腹を立てていい>と言っているのではありません。それは単なるわがままで、場合によっては即、パワハラ、モラハラになります。
物事は一方の方向から見るものではなく、あらゆる角度から見て判断するものです。頭でわかっていても、日常の生活や仕事に追われていると、ついついそのことを忘れて、自分の尺度や自分が考えるフツーという物差しで相手(他者)や物事を見ていませんか?
ペットボトルも、上から横から真下からと、視点を変えるといろいろな表情(形)があります。ペットボトルのシルエットを想像すればわかると思います。
あなたが短所だと思っていることが、他者からは案外魅力的に映っているかもしれません。
ちなみに私のパートナーは“超”がつく人見知りです。心のハードルが物凄く高いのですが、その分バウンダリーがしっかりしています。おいそれと内側(内面)に踏み込めないタイプです。
パートナー本人はどう感じているのかはわかりませんが、私からは慎重でリスク管理能力が高く、とても頼り甲斐があると思っています。
◇
<運営会社:Jiyuuku Inc.>
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